Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
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After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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