I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
