I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
