Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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