Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
