Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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