I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
