Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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