I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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