Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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