well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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