you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
