dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize