Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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