I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
