They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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