jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
