She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
