Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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