Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize