I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
