We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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