You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
