My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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