when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize