NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
