You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
