your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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