who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
