I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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