He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.