That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?