trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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