Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine