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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

  Fav 14 4699 843

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (435): View more from Utah

  It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

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• (530): View more from California

  It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?

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