I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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