Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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