Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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