Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
