I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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