I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
