he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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