my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
