just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
