We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
