no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Please don't give away my fajitas
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
