I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
