You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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