Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize