Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
