Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize