P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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