i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
