Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude. I can hear the air.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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