Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize