dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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