oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
