Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
