I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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