I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
