do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
