I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Are we still banned from the library?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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