I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Text me some of your sweat
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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